Showing posts with label church splits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church splits. Show all posts

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Seminary PL31: From Out Group to One Group

This is the seventeenth and last post on church management in my "Seminary in a Nutshell" series. In this series, I first did a section on the Person and Calling of a Minister. Now this is the thirty-first post in a section on the Pastor as a Leader (see at the bottom).

The previous post was about preventing group exit and splits. This post gives some general thoughts and principles of group integration
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1. Human nature is tribal. We are born to herd, and we herd with people who are like us. In terms of church growth, Donald McGavran called this the "homogeneous unit principle," where a homogeneous unit is "a section of society in which all members have some characteristic in common." [1] McGavran observed that a group has synergy--and thus is more likely to grow--when the group is made up of people who are alike.

Understandably, the homogeneous principle has come under immense attack in recent days. It is abhorrent to think of some group saying, "We don't want anyone who isn't white" or "We don't want anyone who isn't African-American" or "We don't want anyone who isn't Hispanic" here! Thankfully, the principle hasn't usually been used in that way in the church. The current "segregation" of American congregations is hopefully more an unthinking phenomenon than an intentional one. [2]

But the natural tendency is for groups to congeal that hold some factor in common. Groups of "like" are more likely to grow than groups of "different." Human nature is such that "make us great" is usually a more powerful sentiment than "unite everyone together."

2. Unless, of course, the thing that holds a group together is the value of cross-group unity. Bob Whitesel has insightfully recognized that multi-cultural churches are actually a subtle form of homogeneity. [3] Those who worship at multi-ethnic churches are usually individuals who value the unity of the church across ethnic barriers!

We have a natural tendency to pull toward our "in-group," the group to which we belong. We have a tendency to exclude, alienate, persecute, fight, or at the very least "not see" the out-group or the other group. [3] There are many different ways to be out-group. You could argue that the 2016 election was in part the ignored blue collar worker pushing back, a group that has felt ignored or "not seen" by the "elite" of established national leadership.

I was part of a group once where I was amazed at the unity of the group, only to find out later that some others had always felt on the outside. This is the least offensive form of bias against an out-group, when we don't even realize we are alienating or excluding. But the out-group is keenly aware. The in-group is usually shocked--even indignant--if the out-group finally boils over and asserts itself. The in-group may not even realize the role it played in the creation of the crisis.

3. If some might not agree with this analysis, most Christians would agree with the goal to which I am pushing. If the church is being the church, then it needs to be a church for everyone, not a church for some in-group or subset. As Paul put it, "Now I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you be in agreement and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same purpose" (1 Cor. 1:10). Cliques are not supposed to be part of the church.

This was the problem with the Corinthian church that Paul addressed in 1 Corinthians: "it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there are quarrels among you" (1:11). Similarly in chapter 11: "I hear that there are divisions among you" (11:18). At Corinth, there was a group loyal to Paul and there was a group that was using Apollos as an excuse to push against Paul. Paul writes Corinth to try to get everyone on the same page.

If it grows unabated, factionalism can result in church splits. It clearly pulls against the mission of the church. The goal of the church is for it to be a place where there is "neither Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor free, not 'male and female'" (Gal. 3:28). The goal of the church is a place where people are present "from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages" (Rev. 7:9).

4. So how can a church go from "out-group" to "one group"? Let me suggest three stages of unification of a congregation in this respect:
  • Agree on the value of unity and full inclusion.
  • Take steps to look like your community and, even better, the kingdom of God.
  • Shift from "us-them" language and thinking to "us" language.
5. When I say, agree on the value of full inclusion, I am not simply talking about race or gender. I mean all the cliques and factions that can take place even in a generally homogeneous church. After all, this is the last post in the section on conflict management. Having groups with "favored status" in the church is begging for conflict.

So it goes without saying that everyone in the church should be treated as being of equal worth. The children of the board or of wealthy givers should not be shown favoritism over any other child. Some will always think they are being treated unfairly, but we can only do our best.

We need to notice everyone who is our churches. Out-group conflict can simmer, sometimes for years, under the surface because of inadvertent exclusion. Then some other trigger can bring it to the surface.

Occasionally, there are people in our churches who actually do not want outsiders coming or do not want certain types of people in "their" church. This is so obviously unChristian that it should not even need mentioned. But Jesus makes it clear from the Parable of the Good Samaritan that our neighbor is precisely the person from the group we do not like. Today, this may include people of other races and nationalities, people of other religions, whatever the group is today that we want to hate.

What about the sinner? What about the law-breaker? True, the presence of those who disagree with our values or understandings can be a corrupting influence. But most of the time we will want in church the person whom we believe needs spiritual help.

6. So hopefully we believe that we are all equal in the eyes of the Lord: "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit" (1 Cor. 12:12-13).

It is harder actually to draw a mixture of people to our churches. Humans herd. Our church may be located in a diverse community, but it is no easy task to lead a church to look like its location. And even if new people come, there is a fair chance there will be "in-group/out-group" conflict over the new individuals. It is human nature to resist change, especially as we get older.

The question of how to move toward a more diverse church is a subject for another time.

7. What we are concerned with today is how to see out-group or minority group individuals integrated once they are in your church. First, as we have said, the value of inclusion needs to be unbending. We need to be committed to everyone in the church being a full member and participant.

But there is an awkward stage of this process, the final stage, where we shift from "us-them" language to "us" language. Before we final get there, there is often a stage where the "in-group" thinks of itself as the host of the minority group, the new group. They are the ones doing the including, the ones being hospitable. They still assume a dominant role in relation to the "other." The value of inclusion is there, but it is "dominant group including subordinate group."

The final stage of inclusion is when we stop thinking in "us-them" terms at all and we are all simply the one group of the church. There is no host. There is no hospitality toward the other. There is simply "us."

8. There will always be different friend groups in a church. As long as these do not become exclusive or "us-them," they are natural. But it's worthwhile to mix it up every once and a while, get the members of one group talking to members of the other. Get people together who would not naturally do so.

But caution is also appropriate. Introverts don't enjoy forced mixing, while extroverts thrive off it. We should be careful not to make a certain personality a virtue. Go slow as necessary, or you will lose people. Almost any major change that happens, some people will leave anyway.

Next Week: Pastor as Leader 32: The Habits of Effective Administrators

[1] Understanding Church Growth (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1980), 95.

[2] Martin Luther King Jr. once called Sunday morning "the most segregated hour in America."

[3] See his recent book with Mark DeYmaz, re:Mix: Transitioning Your Church to Living Color (Nashville: Abingdon, 2016).

[4] The idea of "white privilege" has at its core this idea of not seeing. I don't see that I didn't get stopped for speeding when a person of color was. I don't see people watching me in a store, paranoid that I will steal something, while a person of color does. I do not experience a place as racist because I was considered "in," while someone else who is "out" feels it every day.

"White" itself is an artificial category. There is no real ethnicity that is "white" or "black." This is
a categorization created by the slave trade. My personal ethnicity is a mixture of English, Scotch-Irish, Dutch, and German. "White" is a category that evolved in American history as new waves of immigrants came to America. For example, Irish and Italians were not initially white because they were an out-group just arriving.

Leadership in General
Strategic Planning
Church Management
Conflict Management

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Seminary PL30: Preventing Group Exit


This is the sixteenth post on church management in my "Seminary in a Nutshell" series. In this series, I first did a section on the Person and Calling of a Minister. Now this is the twenty-ninth post in a section on the Pastor as a Leader (see at the bottom).

The previous post in this series looked at Tillich's Protestant Principle and the tendency of Protestant churches to split over interpretations of the Bible. Bob Whitesel's book can be bought here.
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1. In a post on "Causes of Conflict," we mentioned four basic sources of conflict: 1) conflict that comes from the life cycle of a church, 2) conflict that comes from the pursuit of the church's goals, 3) interpersonal and interrelational conflict, and 4) conflict resulting from trends in the church's environment. Any of these conflicts can lead to "group exit," where some subset of the church decides to leave and go elsewhere. If the group leaving is large enough, we call it a church split.

2. Life cycle conflict is inevitable. When a church or organization is in decline, there will be conflict over diminished resources. If a church grows and new people begin to make the original core group feel less significant, there will be conflict. When a church is launching, there can be conflict over how and when to launch it. There is a good chance that people will leave at these pressure points.

As the leadership of a church sets goals and casts vision, the introduction of new ideas and directions almost inevitably leads to conflict. If the conflict is great enough, some will inevitably leave... or the pastoral leadership will be pushed out.

Interpersonal conflict is the stuff of humanity. People get their feathers ruffled, often over nothing. Often we say we are disagreeing over ideas or situations, but it is really just carnal human nature doing its thing. People will inevitably exit a church from time to time in a huff. Often, it is a relief to everyone when they go.

Pressures from the outside world can cause divisions in a church. The 2016 election was the most divisive election of my lifetime. Families and friends parted ways. No doubt there were individuals who left one church for another during this season as well.

3. It is important to acknowledge that groups can part company in peace. They can "agree to disagree." I happened to be in a church once where someone who had led a split returned to the original church and shared some of his reflections before moving out of the city. I thought his advice was uncanny: "Don't disagree for long," he said. "If you cannot come to an agreement, part as friends and double the effort for the kingdom."

So unification is not always the ideal outcome. When Paul and Barnabas parted ways, the gospel came to Greece. Just think of how much longer it would have taken if Paul and Barnabas had not agreed to disagree and gone their separate ways!

4. Bob Whitesel suggests that a church can limit group exit by counteracting the exit trajectory at key "trigger" points. [1] He lays out six stages of change that can either result in group exit or group harmony.
  • He starts with relative harmony, assuming a church that is generally at peace at the start.
  • Then a conflict trigger emerges. He focuses mostly on ideas ("Idea Development Stage") but the trigger could be any of the sort mentioned above. There may be tremors and rumblings of conflict at this point.
  • The third stage is change. A change happens. Two possible trajectories often start here, one of which could end in group exit. There can be an "alarm event" that sets a course that, unless addressed in some way, will end in some group leaving the church.
  • There will almost inevitably be resistance to change when it occurs. This is the most crucial stage because another event is coming, either a "polarizing event" or a "harmonizing event."
  • If a harmonizing event takes place, then the next stage will be one of dissonent harmony, where there is disagreement within the context of unity. If rather a polarizing event takes place, then the next stage will be one of intense conflict.
  • Finally, the conflict runs its course. The one trajectory leads to group exit, the other to group retention
Whitesel offers the advice of going slow and building consensus, as well as building in the expectation of resistance into the process.

5. The way you address conflict depends on the source of the conflict, remembering that not all group exit is bad. When an organization has to change or die, such changes do not have to be done offensively, but they must be done. When new goals are put in place for the good of the organization, they can be done in a way that tries to build consensus and get as many people on board as possible.

Opponents to a course of action ideally would feel like they are being heard. There is a point of course where a gripe session emerges that only is harmful. Most people resist change, often even when it is helpful. It's often helpful to separate opportunities for venting from moments of decision. And it's best to separate gripes so they don't poison the well.

Again, sometimes those gripes are right. Sometimes the pastor or leadership team is wrong. Good leadership gives a good listen to those who oppose change.

On the other hand, if people feel manipulated and shut out, there is a greater chance that group will eventually leave. But there is a time to go forward for the intended good of the organization even if some leave.

6. You cannot always convince those with objections. Human beings operate primarily on their intuitions and then come up with reasons to support their gut feeling. So while we have logical discussions over ideas, that is often not where the real opposition is coming from. The interpersonal dimension is more important if the goal is resolve the conflict.

There is a point where continued discussion is pointless. That point is when it is clear that neither side is going to convince the other. At this point, those who have the authority to move forward with their side will do so, and the other side can either stomach it or will leave.

From a Christian perspective, there shouldn't be sore winners or losers. The winning side has won and would ideally be gracious to the side that has lost. If the losing side cannot do anything more to change the outcome, it should resolve itself to the loss or leave. Of course there are less than ideal situations too.

7. Trending situations on the outside of the church can unify a church. They can also polarize it. If the church unifies against changes to which it needs to adjust, then the church is on a trjectory that will keep it together until it dies. Sometimes some in the church want to accommodate the world when it should be standing firm. Sometimes the church mistakes politics for religion and that causes divisions in the church.

Our citizenship is in heaven. Our loyalty is to God. Hopefully a church can sort out its priorities to where it knows what is central and what is not central when the outside world causes conflict within. But not all conflict can be resolved. If it becomes a cancer or interferes with the mission too much, then exit is not a bad thing.

Next Week: From Out Group to One Group

[1] Whitesel has two key books relating to this topic: Staying Power and Preparing for Change Reaction. See also his wiki articles on group exit.

Leadership in General
Strategic Planning
Church Management
Conflict Management

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

One perspective on church splits...

Caught an international service in English here in Munich Sunday afternoon.  It was a church that has had one or two splits in the past (in good Protestant fashion).  A gentleman stood up to greet the church who had been there since its beginning.  His comments were interesting in the light of the church's history.

He said, if you have differences, try to come to an agreement.  But don't waste too much time if you can't.  We will need thousands more churches to spread the good news to everyone, so part company in peace and go start a new church.

Never heard it put that way before! ;-)