Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Stupid Pet Tricks

We have two dogs, a 9 year old Shizu and a 5 month old Great Dane. Great Dane's pose interesting training issues. They grow up so quickly that it's hard to put the fear of God in them when they are young and impressionable.

So our little Shizu didn't stand a chance. Normally, she would have made her territory known to a neophyte pipsqueek pup. Then when the pup grew up, it would still have that fear deep down, long after the adult had lost any real power over it. Not so with a Great Dane pup. It was practically as big as the Shizu when we bought it!

This morning, my wife Angela let the Shizu out first, as is necessary. If Bruce the Dane is let out first, he will try to play with the Shizu, causing immediate pee impotence. He will try to put his paw on the little dog, which we imagine one day will involve a broken back.

But this morning, we had waited too long to get out of our warm bed, and Bruce couldn't wait, despite his oversized bladder. My wife let him out as he started to releave himself at the back door. Then he proceded to go out, stand over the Shizu, and pee on her.

This of course was not the first incidence of Dane raising frustration. There are boards and wall board that need replaced, and multiple things that have been removed from play before completely destroyed. This morning he actually unplugged the freezer somehow.

We've also had self-destructive cats too. One male started spraying everything around when another new kitten arrived. He was subsequently banished from the house, with all the ensuing pain of carpets and furniture.

I often think, "Pet, if you just weren't so stupid. You could actually have a great life if you would just stop doing all these things that, in the wild, help you survive. Some simple adjustments and you would be much happier than you are.

And then I think, people are animals too. We self-destruct and stupidly do the worst things. A lot of people aren't any smarter as adults than they were as children. They just don't have anyone to tell them no anymore. D and F students in high school grow up and get to vote, but chances are they're still a D or F student at life too.

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