I know I have some personality quirks. I won't share if you haven't noticed them. But there are also some things I think I get, too. I think I know when to shut up and when I'm bugging other people. I think I know when I'm rationalizing. I think I know when I'm presuming on other people or when I need just to say thank you and take a gift.
I know there are areas where I just don't get it--my friends and family could easily point these personality blind spots. By the same token, it's hard to watch other people be, well, stupid in their interpersonal relationships in areas where the right mannerism or course of action seems obvious to me.
Then there are children. I quickly looked for that book Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned in Kindergarten. What a great book! Share your toys, etc. Frankly, most people need to learn these things far more than to learn algebra. Reading and writing is important. But I would put basic interpersonal skills on a par with them. More people will grow up to be murderers than will ever use algebra in real life.
Don't get me started on how inefficient and ineffective I think the current American educational system is!
Anyway, I was trying to give my children some pointers on basic stuff today. If IWU has a seminary, there will be stuff in a congregational relationships course from people who know these things on an expert level. But today I offer these three basics in the form of American proverbs.
1. Winners train; losers complain.
For some reason people think that making excuses somehow changes things. The past is the past. It can't be changed. Maybe you have an explanation why it didn't go your way. Someone else didn't need an explanation because it went their way. They won; you lost. Get over yourself. Complaining is the sign of a loser. You weren't the best that time.
2. Shake it off.
Get up. Don't just lie there. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." "There's no crying over spilt milk." "It's water under the bridge." Shake it off and try again. Don't be a quitter. "You'll show them next time"... or the next time or the next time. Or at some point admit that they're better than you at x, y, or z.
3. Put up or shut up.
People who are the best don't need to tell anyone that they're the best. They know they're the best and others tell them so because they're the best. Bragging is a sign that you aren't actually as good as you're saying you are. "Pride goes before a fall." "The tallest nail is the first to get hit."
Or my own motto--"The truth doesn't care." It doesn't care about excuses or what people think. "It is what it is."
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7 comments:
While I could surely take some hard, serious advice from the first two of these, it seems clear to me that they all are primarily applicable in a competitive, individualistic culture.
this was good.
Interesting and accurate American proverbs.
How do you envision applying them to the IWU seminary regarding congregational relations?
Good proverbs. I think I learned all of those lessons from my athletics coaches and team mates during my high school and college years. Some of the teams I played on were good, others were really bad - I was always an average athlete at best.
Maybe what happens in the Rec. Center is about more than just physical fitness; as algebra is about much more than math. ;-)
Rick, it seems to me that church life is filled with dysfunctional adults (including pastors) who lack the most basic interpersonal skills. Some of the discussion of what would take place in a "congregational relationships" course is some basic training in the common sense that seems so often lacking in churches.
Scott, I just used popular American proverbs. They could be expressed in more timeless ones like "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."
Burt, after going through discussions on what a relevant seminary would be, it's been hard not to look at other curricula through the same lens. For example, I find mainstreaming ludicrous for the most part. Different students have much different needs and capabilities. I think even IWU would do well to have a "Life Math" course option.
Ken, I need to apologize, and maybe just for my own sake. But, it is here posted for as far as the blog dropped, it must be mended that far, in case of offense...
My last post I charged the coservative Protestant Church with using the text as the Catholic Church does the sacraments. Scripture is a sacrament, isn't it? As I saw another blog today, a mirror was put before me and it reminded me of my post and how it could've been understood. I am in a context here in Washington of beauracratic "mess" and it "gets to me at times"...
I do believe in educating people in understanding. But, the most important part of your discipline is to challenge the student beyond their comfort zones in their own bias and prejuidices. And I think you do a good job! Please forgive my "loose hand" in that blog.
I never take any offense from your posts Angie. If I don't engage with them at times it is because I don't always understand them.
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