American churches are bleeding Chrsitians, it seems. A student in IWU's grad ministry program is doing his final project on the many former teens from his youth group who have lost faith or completely stopped going to church since they graduated from high school. He has several surveys going on surveymonkey.com.
Of course there are some books out there that are in the neighborhood. McLaren has his Everything Must Change, as does Bishop Spong from a different angle.
The student will have some solid research behind his conclusions, but I have some thoughts that I'll throw out here for discussion (the rest of Hebrews nine is underway, but this seemed more immediately interesting).
1. Christian faith seems irrelevant to our kids. I was having a somewhat frustrated conversation with a friend the other day over what Wesleyans should do for a sort of "confirmation" with kids who were baptized as infants. A nearby teen reaction to the conversation was something like what sort of freaks argue over baptism.
Of course my hunch is that just about everything truly meaningful in life is irrelevant to our upper middle class "Christian" teens, many (perhaps most) of whom are doing drugs, having sex, and drinking just like all the other upper middle class kids in their high school. It is not at all just the "lower" end doing these things. The wealthiest high school in a nearby town, full of rich brats, is permeated with drugs and alchohol. It seems like a drunk student from there kills him or herself by running into a tree or something at least once a year.
This bored, pleasure level subsistence is an American problem, not particularly a Christian one. We're a fat nation ripe for being conquered or undergoing crisis because we lack for nothing pleasurable and have no interest in anything lasting. When I lived in England, I was shocked by how stupid Europeans think we are. When I landed back at the Detroit airport and listened to the conversations on a bus leaving the plane, I saw their point. Then after Iraq, we became the scariest nation in the world to them because "stupid" was shooting missiles at everyone.
2. We are a hyper-individualistic culture. Say whatever you think about cults, polygamist Mormons, old fashioned holiness types. But they have a group dynamic that keeps people in the group. The ethos of the current generation of middle class Christian students graduating from college is to blend in with the secular world. And they are blending right into non-existence as Christians. Non-denominational meets non-identity.
3. No "youth lesson" can compete with human sexuality. Our youth pastors can go "blah, blah, blah" about saving sex till marriage or about homosexuality. But it seems that most of this generation are going to have sex anyway. You can't watch them 24/7 and indeed to do so might create a solution more damaging than the problem.
I'm not affirming it. I'm saying I have never been more discouraged about Christians being "holy" than I have become this past year. Maybe I've been blind all these years to what people in the church are really like. My verse of the year is from Joshua 24--"You cannot serve the LORD your God. It will be too hard for you."
I have no great wisdom here (and thankfully no problems with my own family). But I do think that we need to start planning for re-entry into the Christian community once prodigal teens begin to think about marriage and children. I'm not condoning the "testing" years. What I'm advocating is an ethos that somehow projects a bright Christian future when our teens eventually have families.
If we could put a picture in our teens' minds of a day when they raise a Christian family, then they may begin to remember the homeland from some far away country they eventually find themselves in. I have no great wisdom for those for whom homosexuality is the issue, except that the church without question should welcome those who choose to remain celibate. The church will have to wrestle with how to be Christ to those who do not.
But a day will come for most when the competition between sexual drive and church ends. How are we planning today, when they are teens, when they are children, for future re-entry, for those who leave us in the meantime? If we do no planning, we are planning for them to fade away rather than to return. But an ever increasing number, I fear, will leave as soon as they are free.
Values usually are not rational. They are stored deep in a child's subconscious before they can reason. They are triggered powerfully by rituals. Say what you want. "Teaching" is powerless next to this deep magic.
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6 comments:
I have found that those whose identity is so strigently tied the rules that define "one side" of the political....are not open to identifying with another whose identity may be tied to a different form of rules, or rationale in shaping values. Is it the form (ritual) that matters or is it the commitment to the values that most matters? And even then, which values do we adhere to as Christians in America, the "land of the free and the home of the brave"? Do we only adhere to Republican values of fiscal responsiblity (right to property)and life (abortion and euthenasia)? Or is the Democratic way the "most Christian", affirming environmental concerns and liberty (freedom of conscience)? I don't mean to define the two American parties along such simplistic lines, but it is easier to understand "Black and White" thinking....Is there ANY GRAY (or any other color for that matter) in the Christian glossary? And where in the world is the definition of "love"? Is it only one-sided? No, for only in granting the Republican's "right" of property AND the Democrat's "right" to freedom of conscience is there a true understanding of "love". So, it is not about either/or, but both/and...
I think the issue is that in American we have lost the true fire and wonder of Christianity. Knowing God is incredible - it is an adventure, it is joy, it is peace, it is joy, righteousness, and peace in the Holy Spirit. It's also very serious. This is just my guess, but I bet most of the kids who "lose faith" later in life never had it as their own in the first place. Some probably do, but I think most don't. Unfortunately, our churches are so moralistic that they don't understand what true holy love is and what a true relationship with God involves.
I connect very well with your last statement. Were it not for my parents nurturing me with Jesus Loves Me, maybe I never would have believed the truth of this myth. As you yourself have said, the only truly Christian statement is to say with Paul, here is the Christian gospel: Christ died for our sins, was buried, rose according to the scriptures, and the rest we've been told, he's coming back to make everything right. Jesus really is the mystery revealed at just the right time in his death.
One of my friends has said it so well:
"Let's be honest for a moment--there's no way I could have known this, that you want me to love you because you have loved me first. That's just a rumor I have heard, I have no way of knowing on my own. I can't feel or hear or see, you only exist in memories because you choose to answer prayer when you feel it's convenient . . ."
Hi Scott, I think we had a class together.
I agree and disagree with you. Yes, parenting IS important, but the impact of "life" also weighs in...I have a book, "The Atheist Syndrome". It is about how many of the "big names" in academia,i.e. Feurbach, Nietzche, Freud, etc...had religious upbringings. In fact, some were from pastoral homes...How did they leave the faith? Was is because reason and experience did not concur with faith? Cognitive dissonance is very uncomfortable for those who value reason....So, I believe that we cannot know how our children will turn out ultimately....
Ken you are an astute student of culture, making this a sharp analysis. Esp. the larger cultural trends that are so strong and prevent the community-mindedness & group identity that a church needs.
Again, I will mention Shane Claiborne. He talks about how unchallenging the church environment is for kids, aside from the moralizing. The rules of faith seem to be stay sober, don't get pregnant, etc. If you want excitement, join the military. His version of faith, of course, involves being sand in the gears of the global military machine, walking the streets with hookers, and declaring jubilee on Wall Street. Ya know, tame stuff.
This year's IWU freshmen will get his first book for worldchangers, so maybe in a few years they'll be leading the youth groups. Watch out parents.
I guess it all depends on how one understands what Christianity is about in interfacing culture. It seems from what is said here that a "counter-culture" mentality is approved. But, a "cultural Christianity" is not. I don't think that we can be so definitive in how we understand faith.
Incarnational theology would adhere to a "Christ in culture" motiff.
Liberation theology would adhere more to a "Christ against culture" motiff.
While a Christian universalism would be more in line with "Christ of culture".
And a Radical orthodoxy would be a "Christ above culture".
It is interesting that people understand their faith in different ways. Has anyone any idea why that is? I mean, if I were "god", I'd just make it easy, plain and simple by defining definately what everyone should believe and why...
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