Finally, for the final...
__________
Hi I'm Paul, and you're the Colossians. Hello!
Thanks to God for you.
Christ trumps other heavenly powers and so called spiritual knowledge
(here’s a hymn to prove it: Christ is the image of the invisible God...)
I’m taking care of the suffering, finishing all that's left to suffer for Christ.
And I’m making known the mystery—Christ in you Gentiles!
Don’t buy the Jewish philosophy:
--food laws aren’t the ticket
--Sabbath is not your concern
--worship with angels, big deal we have Christ
--ascetic, earthly thinking
You've disconnected from the head, Christ.
So live accordingly.
Put to death the things of earth
Put off this list of bad things; put on this list of good things.
Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus
Household codes (husband/wife; child/parent; heavy on the slave/master)
Pray!
A whole lot of greetings
Goodbye.
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2 comments:
These are hilarious! Thanks for putting them up on the blog. You'd be surprised just how many people don't read Paul's letters with the overall themes in mind, and instead just read until they trip over something that feels significant or spiritual.
fucking nigger bitch
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